7/16/07

The Future



28 comments:

Emily G said...

hahahaha, really really gross, Sharon. I laughed so hard. It didn't even register entirely before I had to hit the comment link and tell you how gross. Cool, but oh geez. I never thought I'd be so happy for photoshop until now.

Emily G said...

yes, i hit the comment link too quickly, after all. I told you I didn't let it register. Jaren Watson, I curtsie and then I bow to you. I will never do this again so take note of it in your journal. Bless you bless you bless you.

A whole new visual my vague understanding of S&M of all kinds. Oh my life. I will never get over....

Emily G said...

I'm sorry to comment again...I can't stop looking at it....I literally bit my hair to keep myself from laughing too loudly. Oh blessed peach of a man. Sharon, I hope you see this before 3 a.m. because I want to read your reaction.

Jaren Watson said...

I'd love to take credit BT, but it was all sweetwife's doing. She just had me post it because she can't.

Emily G said...

I bow long and deep to sweetwife.

S.Morgan said...

What the . . .? I'm speechless--without comments, without words of any kind.
And, I too, and amazed at the power of Photoshop. How in the heck did you do that, Charity? I'm dying to know the steps. He's even got his arm around me. And what's so dang funny, Emily G.? Just because I'm old doesn't mean I like sleeping alone--ever--and can't dream of "the future," you ding brain. You think you're the only one with hormones? huh? And dreaming about KU is a hell of a lot better than puke face P. Just admit how envious you'd be, sister sue?

S.Morgan said...

OK, I repent of calling P. a "puke face." He's not. He did the best he could. . . It just wasn't good enough and never will be for the likes of us. (Oh, great, now I have to repent of pride.)But if not Keith Baby, it'll be even better. And just why am I talking to any of you guys about this? Huh?

Emily G said...

It's 5:25 a.m. and I'm just getting home. I just thought I'd check in and let you know, Sharon. I've been living the youth all day and all night. I can't find any toothpaste and I'm covered in sweat and second-hand cigarette smoke. I never thought I'd see a day like this when I was reading Anne of Avonlea down the hallways at North Layton Jr. High and having pennies thrown at me from the rough kids that lined the hallways. Ha ha! I had a wild evening of actual popularity and I'm sure I'll pay the price for it later. I wore somebody else's pants and danced in a cage. How do you like that? And I didn't even take my pepto bismol dress--I wore a ten dollar Target shirt with a heart coming out of a whale. Well, time for bed, and I'm sure I'll wake up much less confessional than I am right now.

You know it can't have been as wild as I've laid it out to be. Still, everything I've revealed to you is true. Mwa ha. *passes out*

charityeve said...

S&M, when you come to AZ I'll teach you all I know about Photoshop and you can have photo memories of Keith in any position you want--don't think about that too much, at least not out loud. I'm so glad you approve of the picture, I was dying to show you!

BT, thank you ever so kindly for the praise and gracious bow. A curtsy would have sufficed, but I'll take what I can get.

S&M, from what I have gleaned from reading earlier posts, we have to find a way to get you to bed sooner. What better way than enticing sheets? Now I just have to figure out a way to photoshop in 3D.

BT, at were you wearing the pants before or after the cage dance? Was there tacky music and a pole to keep you company? "Covered in sweat" you say? Is this site really rated G?

Jaren Watson said...

Sweetwife, please refrain from revealing to the world just how sordid your dear little mind is. Keep it clean, dear. Keep it clean.

Grifter said...

So that there feller is Keith Urban?

He looks like Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2. Fightin' words?

James Best said...

Vigo the Carpathian? Ha. Never have truer words been said. Sharon, it's cool. You can't help who you fall in lust with. I had a thing for Minnie Driver for years and Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman.

Wonderful Photoshop work there, Charity. I've always suspected you were way more talented than Jaren. I already knew smarter and better looking and more daisy smelling. But now I know that Jaren married completely out of his league. Count your blessings, Captain Stubbing.

Emily G said...

Vigo the Carpathian in PLAID????? *shudders*

Jaren Watson said...

Tru dat, James, I do count them. I am immensely grateful for the blessing I have of being physically stronger than my wife. The threat of a violent beating is the only thing that persuaded her to marry me in the first place, and the only thing that keeps her still.
(psst, wife, I love you.)

charityeve said...

Thank you for the flattery all, you know I love it.

JP, I'm sorry, but in my defense, I'm not the one dancing in a cage and wearing someone else's pants. Besides, who's the one with the potty language here, Bub? Swab your own deck. What I'm trying to say is--I love you to.

S.Morgan said...

Fighting words? Oh, I shudder to think I have friends like you. If any have seen or heard Mr. Urban play said guitar, you would gasp--especially since we only have Keith burnt-out brain Richards for real live guitar players left. Although Mr. Neil Burnt-out also Young does come close. I'm a sucker for those real musicians who really play their real guitars. But then talented musicians have always impressed me (OK, yes, I know, I was there when Joe Cocker threw up all over the stage, but he still went on with the show.) Of course, you younger chillin's can't even remember Jimi Hendricks who I once saw in person in Hawaii . . . OK, that was a lie. I had tickets to see him, but he shot up some cocaine before the show and got stuck, for days, riding his motorcycle round and round the very round driveway of his rented house. Urban is pure talent no matter the style he chooses. And, yes, right now in my long "endure-to-the-end" life lyrics such as "I want to be with you forever" sound like miracles that don't really happen except in fairy tales. But then I've had two temple-for-all-eternity husbands leave. (I'm not a man-hater, but, crap, I sure hate those sneaky, creepy, no guts, no brains, please-let-me-have-an-easy-life "leavers.") By the way, I'm probably the first of us all to have heard Santana blaring through the radio, windows down in the car, going nowhere down the road, just all music. He stun-gunned us. Sorry, Bright Eyes and Death Cab . . . are just lower levels of hell. However, I've now have the lusts (thanks for the right word, Jimmy) for John Cusack. Catch me if you can.

Emily G said...

went to a hotel room last night that was almost IDENTICAL to 1408. nope, i did not lose my virginity, i was only there for my stopping on a bachelorette party before hitting the town with them for a bit. otherwise, i'd probably still be there, living out the same hellish hour over and over and over and over and over and...was anybody else really sickened over the ridiculous ending of that movie?

Jaren Watson said...

I saw the movie last week and I still don't know what to think of it. I'm tempted to say I didn't like it. I agree that Cusack gave a fine performance. Carrying the entire thrust of a 2 hour movie by yourself has got to be a challenge, and he did an admirable job of it.
But the story--what exactly was King trying to communicate? The ending, BT, I agree. Are we supposed to assume that the daughter is in the literal room/figurative hell? If so, why? That doesn't seem to make sense. But is there any other way to interpret it?
And who is the hotel manager supposed to represent? Devil? Angel? Neither fit exactly.

James Best said...

Do you think Stephen King is really worried about the final location of his soul? The guy's like Nathaniel Hawthorne sometimes.

Sharon, I have a man crush on John Cusack. I fault you not.

Emily G said...

James, I think Stephen King is probably concerned. He's pretty dead on sometimes with his ethical panoramas of good vs evil....but after reading the last few chapters of IT back in high school, man, I was worried about my soul for even READING his stuff, let alone what it would be like to write it. I liked reading him though because he was a voice for the picked-on and misfit.

I like John Cusack so much, I don't even get grossed out during the Say Anything bloody nose make-out at the gym.

Jaren Watson said...

Nothings says lust like bloody nose make-out.

S.Morgan said...

Thanks, James. I knew I could always count on you for support. And, hey, 1408? With the great movie fare (S. for Sarcasm) we've been served this summer, why the heck can't we (in our imagination) cut out the S. Jackson scene and chop off the ending and settle. these are times that try movie fans' souls. In the millennium, where I plan to work as a film editor, I'm going to fix this film for you (along with Giamatti's Lady in the Water--what an awful film, but SUCH possibilities!) C'mon, Mikael Håfström finally pulls King out of blood gore and guts and pushes a psychological angle, which is what I think King does well. (Whew. Long sentence.) Speaking of blood and guts, I saw Blood Diamond last night. Wow. First time I've watched DiCaprio and forgot it was DiCaprio. I also want to add that I once danced in a cage, but have never ever had my picture taken in a pink dress.

Jaren Watson said...

Why is it nearly all the women I know have had a brief stint in the burlesque?

Emily G said...

Sharon, you must reveal all cage-dancing secrets on our upcoming campy camping trip. Also, do you own Blood Diamond? Konrad made me promise to see it about a month ago.

And what are you talking about summer movie fare? Harry Potter 5 kicked ass, I don't care what anybody else says.

Also, I'm going to stop swearing when I type again. You all need to help me enforce this.

Grifter said...

where to begin?

S&M: there are pleeenty o' good contemporary guitarists out there, aside from the Glimmer Twin (old arthritic chimp Richards) and Neil. Plenty. And none of them happen to be in Death Cab or Bright Eyes, which are both the dregs, to me. I envy being able to see some of the acts you did...just like my padre who saw Jimi in Golden Gate Park along with Janis, Country Joe, the Grateful Dead, and others. He used to go down to the SF pier and watch Santana jam, before they were an in-house name. But can we truly idealize the past that much? I mean, 20 years from now, I will be telling my kids that I got to see Sam Beam play in tiny Kilby Court with about only 40 other people in the crowd. Or how about Doug Martsch of Built To Spill? Phenomenal guitarist who I have seen too many times to count. Herman Li, Martin Tielli, Spencer Seim, Andy Mckee..soo many. I have to defend my generation and say that there are still true axemen out there..we haven't totally lost it yet.

Also, I think you can't be a true man without some sort of Cusak fascination.

As for films, Blood Diamond was good. Sad, and good. I don't know if you can watch any movie about exploited Africa and sit there and say "wow" without feeling a tinge of shame. I like how Joe Campbell outlined the idea that you can't exist without participating in evil. I know that my caucasian ass has benefited from the pillage of another country--countless times. And I do not plan to stop swearing after this point.

Hey Butt Taco: I want you to know that I have seen Harry Potter 5 twice already, and that Ashley has convinced me to read both books 6 and 7. I got to page 150 last night in 6, and Friday night I will be lined up to buy book 7. It isn't so much the storyline that has me, but the hype--i just want some closure. And I want to see Sirius rise from the dead to pimp slamp Bellatrix.

*slinks off shamefacedly*

Emily G said...

Oh the grace! I can't believe Ashley not only got you watching Gilmore Girls but she has you in Harry Potter now, too. She wins the brighest goldest star of my heart. That is really fabulous, and you shouldn't be ashamed, Joe, really.

I'm re-finishing book 6 tonight....it's surprising how many details one forgets in four years. As for the movies.....I know it's gross and weird and unexplainable and he's an older man, but I have this sick attraction to Prof. Snape. I think he's so funny and he dresses so nice, all that dark hair and deep voice and everything. I really think he's just misunderstood. I think if I were a teacher at Hogwarts, he would have a crush on me. Which reminds me...do you think Hogwarts teachers have to take a vow of celibacy? Seriously....

S.Morgan said...

Puleeeeese, no more talk of celibacy. I'm falling falling falling backward, hand to forehead, in a dead swoon.

Jaren Watson said...

Not without laughter, JG. You watch the Golden Girls? Tee hee.

S&M, Forget celibacy. Remeber, it's not immoral if you do it for money.