For the Record, Pt. III: an excerpt from Marvin Austead's "Oral Fixation and Our Friends of Class Amphibia"

Fig. 1: Joseph Griffin, December 2000, Pelotas, Brazil, demonstrating the 'Boca Ruse' approach to amphibian sampling

(pg 326) "...in the Boca Ruse manner of sampling Order Salientia, the sampler elevates a captive true frog in the air, and with a visage of wild-eyed voracity, feigns a gesture of consumption directed at said amphibian. The benefits of this manner of amphibian sampling are numerous:

1. Amphibian does not contact the mouth of the sampler, thereby avoiding the possible transfer of any virulent bacteria via the amphibian's osmotic skin.
2. The sampler's mouth does not pass on any foreign body to the delicate amphibian, via the amphibian's osmotic skin.
3. Awkward (and possibly ostracizing) social situations are averted.
4. Young, impressionable children are taught to avoid the ills of direct oral contact with creatures that regularly swim in their own evacuation."

OK, I agree. Reunion would be good. But would it ever be the same? I propose a definite big meeting in Millennium. If we do it before then, I'd have you stay in tents at my house, and we could take the many children to Yellowstone, Jackson, etc., using my house as a base. But I'm not doing the cooking. And, yes, Jen, you're the only one of us who could plan and carry out this thing. Why don't we meet in Florence, Italy . . . say four or five years. Let's rent a villa. Tanner Stellmen, are you out there somewhere?

WC Class of 2003

While was lying awake the other night, I decided that I think that we should have a Writing Center reunion. There are a few stipulations on this reunion though. Stipulation 1: the reunion will have to until I am once again living in the West. I am done with the East, especially since today is sinfully hot and humid, but I am stuck here for about 2 and 1/2 years, so the reunion will have to wait until after then, because I am pretty sure that if this really does happen, I will be the one to organize it and we don't have money for airfare to do it any sooner. Give me a break, we're still students. Stipulation 2: although the WC is actually in the library, I think the most appropriate place to hold the reunion would be at Sharon's. This means that you cannot sell until after the reunion OR you must find buyers who will let us camp out at the house for a weekend or so.

My reasons for wanting a reunion? Other than my roommates, most of my really good friends from BYU-I came out of the WC and I think unless we (I) put together a reunion, we will never be at the same place at the same time again. Sharon and Em...imagine hanging out with Tanner, Jill, Tobias, Josh, Millie, Erin Grant, Shalese, Serena, Trevor, Tony the Tiger and yes, even Jared (but only if he brought Pam). Sharon, we could even invite Jenny Oscanyon and Tatum and even, if we got brave, Catherine Mann (oh boy, I haven't thought about her in FOREVER). Let me know what you think. I'm not trying to be overly nostalgic or anything, but I would really like to see some of old friends again, even if the meeting is a few years away.

Backyard Moose (Nice pic of Depp, Em)

Shot pictures of this baby moose in my backyard this morning. This baby is as big as a normal size horse. Beautiful brownish black, quietly eating from my trees, wading around in the river; I named him "Sunny B."

Emily, you know I never answer phones. Just text. And no I won't be at school for two more weeks, thank heaven. Come when you can. I'll leave pillows on the couch. Rodeo is Sat. at 6:15.

Last night I sat in a soft steady rain next to my dad, watching the number two rated in the world bull rider compete for a $10,000 ride. This was probably one of Dad's last rodeos. He still stopped to chat with all the old cowboys along the fence, but we had to help him into the grandstand. He won't stand for that again. We ate fried waffles with blackberries and whip cream and jotted down each score until the program got too wet and ripped, and I picked out the $50,000 barrel buckskin horse that I'm going to search heaven for when we get up there. He moved like silk from India.

After all this heat, we felt in heaven. A little Native American five-yr-old won the mutton busting (riding sheep until a whistle blows). After they gave her a trophy a foot taller than she was, the announcer asked her what she'd do for a brand new BB gun from . . . (some sponsor). She said, "Nothing. I don't want one." He lost words but recovered quickly, "Well, can we give it to your parents then?" "Nope. They don't want it either." "Do you have a brother? I bet he'd like this new BB gun." "No, he wouldn't." I loved the whole night.

Welcome home, Jaren and Charity. I'm going to post a Keith Urban tape to welcome you back to the West (via Australia). In a full count, just how many snakes have you seen so far? This is important information for me if I'm to consider a PhD at Tucson.

Oi, Sharon:

You aren't answering my phone calls. And I would send you an email, but I enjoy this new public way of speaking at you and for some reason I feel like you might check this page more than your email anyway. And I wanted to post this picture of Johnny Depp. So, I'm coming up tomorrow, Friday, August 2, 2007. I'm going to wear denim cutoffs, sneakers, actually, jeans...not cutoffs...maybe...I'll bring both, and a shirt that will hopefully look inconspicuous at a rodeo. I'm excited to have my computer charger back because my little brother is blaming me for all his problems with our downstairs computer. And I have episodes from the third season of The Office on my dead laptop that I want to watch. Oh, and I'd really like to see you. Does it matter what time I show up? Are you on campus at all tomorrow?